One of the things about escaping the corporate life is that I vowed to do what I want, for whomever I chose, and not to do what I really don't want to do. This was because I spent so much time doing things that were soul-insulting or pointless. To illustrate, I wore flip-flops every day for the first year, even in winter.
Meetings and presentations were one of these things -- time-consuming, tiring, awkward. I dodged a bullet last time and avoided going to a meeting to present my research results. This time, though, they want me there. And I need to be there.
I could whine about it to myself, but instead I'm just going to prepare and go and not try to worm my way out of it. I think the big thing is looking at what I dread and addressing each issue.
1. Getting there in the morning -- I am not a morning person.
Solution: Maybe spend the night. Plan out route in advance. Go on auto-pilot in AM.
2. Getting fluffed up -- I am the queen of spilling things, accidentally ending up with lipstick on my nose, etc.
Solution: Get manicure and blow-out. Make a checklist, make sure there are no loose threads, etc. Drink coffee carefully -- maybe through a straw?
3. Making small talk. Yuck.
Solution: Let others do more of that. Comment on the area they are located in. Weather. Look into local sports teams (they are in Connecticut).
4. Remembering names.
Solution: Remember that you are dealing with human beings who deserve your acknowledgment. There is no such thing as a suit, or even a silverback, in real life. Do that thing with the business cards where you put them so you can remember who is sitting where.
You'll notice that one thing is distinctly not there -- fear of public speaking. That's because, irony of ironies, I am a very good public speaker on my areas of expertise -- authoritative and clear. And a long time ago I realized that all of this is meaningless -- it's just a game, and I simply don't care if I win it. I also see my role as educating (helping), not baring my soul (which I understand is the root of the fear of public speaking). It's very strange, but I am more afraid of the little girl in The Ring than I am of public speaking.
Adopting means no more being a big baby about some things. I must strike a balance between feeling compelled to do things and choosing to do them. So to this meeting I shall go, like a grown-up.
I feel better already.
